Friday, February 4, 2011

Snowed In Reflection.

There was 10-12" of snow a few nights back, precious little of it melted. Today it's snowing again. Already 1-2" has fallen. I'm going a little stir-crazy.

I'd been planning on posting up some lovely photography - but the memory card for my digital camera refuses to work in my reader. I have to manually move things via a cable. Which means I also have to re-charge the batteries every time I want to move photos. Hideously involved for something that's made to be easier than developing film.

However, leering out over the blanket of white with not a good-goddamned to keep me occupied, it got me into some thinking.

"Guys, I mean... what's Magic? I mean... no... like what is it?"

I've been reading a lot of articles lately that have, I'm sorry to say, come down to very inspiring versions of standing around going "Guys, ... what is Magic? I mean... really?"

What are we doing? Does it matter what the figgity we're doing? I think that if we are putting ourselves out there as Gurus on the mountain, we'd damned better be doing, y'know, something important. But if we're just moving about our lives, do we need a master plan? Does any one of us even have a master plan for tomorrow, let alone their life-long spiritual pursuits?

Pagan Roots.

I started on my path (at current) nearly 14 years ago, because a malevolent entity wouldn't leave me alone, and I had to find -something- that worked. And then I went "Oh... this is where I belong." - a call-after-the-fact, so to speak. Or maybe the entity was the call. I've thought about that entity over the years - I know why it's around. I can only guess that it came after me because it saw that it could. Of course, one of the spirits I routinely deal with says it best - "If the right things happen, the worst demons of hell become more kind and benevolent than angels."

My master-plan at the time was to make the thing go away. Well, I got that out of the way. After that it's been a series of goals, little ones for no other reason than the joy of discovery and mastery. Maybe to please a spirit here and there. Do I need a "why"? I mean, the way I was trained - that "Why" - is that the wheel must be turned.

Gods, Goddesses and Assumptions.

Person: Best of luck communing with Brigid tonight!
Me: Er... I don't "do" Brigid, but thanks!
Person: But that's what Imbolc is!
Me: Don't really "do" Imbolc - I do a celebration of the first pangs of Spring. Bringing back Old Hornie. No Brigid in sight.
Person: You're just misguided, all Goddesses are one.
Me: Eat a slice of my ass.

I honor a few beings I'd call Goddesses, not a-one of them goes by the name Brigid. No offense to those that honor Her in Her historical context, but the "Bride" waffled about by most Playgans is Eowyn gently cradling her belly - pining after a man to "fulfill" her, not a fiery Goddess of the forge. All Aryan-centric, woman as womb-an, and downright incompatible with my swinging wand.That's a vibe I want nothing to do with; In fact, that might be the antithesis of my vibe.

The deities I deal with this time of year are my Folk's, namely Horn-Wearer. Cauldron-Stirrer is there, because of course all roads lead through Her, but She does not give birth to anyone, nor does She mate with anyone. The suggestion that she HAS to fit into this role really does not sit well with her, and by extension rather irritates me.

She reminds me of Hecate, and a little bit of Erishkegal, and a touch of Cerridwyn's sorcerous cunning and guile. She is old and young and weaponized beauty. She is queen of poisons and keys, and ways. She stirs the cauldron of decay and doles out the elixer of life. She is the maw of a black hole.

"Dual", "Tripple", "Manifold"

If I were to call Her the "Aspect" of anything, she'd likely turn me into dinner. She does not change in age, or countenance, depending upon the season. She is neither old, nor young. She's somewhere between. She's about as far from "Mother" as you'll get - excepting that she is the fore-bearer of all my Folk. I have reason to believe she was once a Priestess who's face became so associated with "Their Goddess" by her clan that when she passed onward, it was her they called on in the Between. And over great lengths of time, with such great mantles of power laid at her feet, for HER folk, She supplanted the old Name and old Face. She became one of the Faithful Retinue of that Goddess, assuming Her throne at the disparate reveries.

I try not to assume what someone does on their own. I tend to think we're all a little different, which is -great-. Monoculture kills. There are some people out there, doing what I do, and many who are not. I like that, lonely as it can be. No stuffing my Powers into the wrong mold - they'll poop in your shoes (using your cat as the Medium).


  1. My Goddess carries a Sword. To gut your happy ass if you step too far out of line.

    S'all I'm sayin'.

  2. ... The word confirmation on that last post was "anger."

    ... Huh.

  3. I really love this post. And I am not sure I could explain just *what* I am doing. Or is it doing me, for that matter. It is very reassuring to me to that you refer to Her as the Cauldron Stirrer. There are times when I wonder if it is Ereshkigal I am drawn to learn for, or Hekate, or part of the Circe/Medea complex, or something else entirely. My inclination is that these beings are way older than we can imagine.

    The fact that what one does is beyond description says it all, IMHO. And the hearth of the home could just as easily be an open hearth for forging. It's the intent.

  4. @ Jack - I used to stridently worship Sekhmet. She once pulled my liver out and ate it in a dream (she gave me back a small, chewed, hunk). I often wonder if it has any relation to my delicate liver.

    I think that might be why I have a distaste for "castrated" depictions of deities.

  5. I hear ya about the castrated deities. The first time I saw Hekate depicted as nicely smiling made me feel, unexpectedly, like the artist had committed a blasphemy.

  6. I find a lot of the uneducated depictions of Brigid by modern Pagans kind of offensive. They don't know anything about the blacksmith/doctor/rebel queen from legend...they just mispronounce "Bride" (bree-juh) and take it to mean that she's simply a wife-to-be, waiting for the thrust of the unicorn. So stupid.

    And, personally, for a long while now I've viewed the Wiccan goddess much as you describe. Old and young, bright and dark - no comforting middle ground in between.

  7. @V.V.F. - Offensive is the right word.

    1: Divine Feminine being reduced strictly to "looks pretty/has sex, makes babies, gets old" strikes me as pretty goddamned offensive.
    2: A GODDESS being shunted into a human role, and expected to behave in a cisgenered human manner is pretty goddamned arrogant.
    3: Assuming ALL goddesses must fit the role of an individual's personal view of one goddess is... pretty goddamned arrogant AND offensive.

    For all I know, Cauldron-Stirrer could be the Wiccan goddess - both "approaches" are from Brittan. I think enough Wica have read my descriptions to give a nod if they wish.

    I used to be a rather ardent seeker of BTWica (owed to one of my mentours being a Lexie and having fond things to say), but sexist attitudes and homophobic covens really, really, turned me away. I'm still open, still looking for people with whom I can sit down and have the serious conversations about gender attitudes, sexuality...etc. that might result in finding new/old Family.