I make no secret of the fact that I don't want kids. Having no desire for children is something that is very much frowned upon in general society, and nearly grounds for a beating in Neopagandom. As far as we come as a species, we still have these strange notions that hold us back.
I've never wanted kids. I can't tell you why, exactly. I think a potion of it is biological, I'm sure. I didn't enjoy playing with dollies as a child, and by puberty my disinterest became dislike. I know I would be a skilled parent, just like I know I would be a great salesperson, or an excellent insurance adjuster. But these things do not call to me, and I'd feel no love in doing them. Skill is great, but without desire it is fruitless.
I was always told Pagan faiths honored the female as divine, but it was not until I revealed that I had no connection to baby-from-my-womb-female-archetype that I was told: "Woman is sacred because she bears children!" That's why woman is sacred? Not because she is a farmer, a warrior, a smith, a mage, a mechanic, a warden, a priest and a prophet? No?
I see... my worth still lies between my thighs, and not within my head or heart. This rhetoric is one I've heard elsewhere, with a slightly less self-righteous, and far more honest backing.
This month was a slow month. I counted the days repeatedly, I checked my journals for dates where I'd engaged in pre-maritals. I examined my dietary foibles, my stress levels. And finally I came to the conclusion: This is either my body playing up, or I'm going to have to really ruin someone's day by asking how soon they can scrape me clean. Stare into the abyss, make it blink first!
I broke out the Women's Magick. I wrapped my hands around a cup of "regularity" tea, and I poured power into it. I stirred promises into it's surface. I scryed, drank, I read the leaves. Drops of blood flowing from an overturned cup. No sooner had I finished drinking it, than my menses got their shit in order.
I'm not a shrinking violet, and I never will be. I gave my fertility to my gods. I sacrificed it. I give my womb-blood to the earth, I water Her fields with Life, so that She may grow a bounty. I will move from maiden to old maid, to crone. I like that. And so does She.